Unless you have the font I'm using installed on your PC, all you'll see are the boring normal fonts. *Laughs* Totally unrelated to anything I wanna blog about but I just had to add it. Yes, crappy me. Bleah.
This post is dedicated to you:
It was really a lovely experience catching up with you and just chatting and chilling. I think you're really different now and I know for sure that the years since we're broken up have been pivotal in both our lives, in terms of how God continued to work in our lives.
You're off to SIM to study for the next 4 years, have been working steadily, has not taken a single day of MC this year, started exercising regularly and everything just seems to be pointing upward for you. I'm truly happy and truly rejoice in the goodness of the Lord in your life through these years. 
You will always remain someone very special to me coz firstly, you're the only ex I can meet up with and have a comfortable time sharing and talking with. For the other guys I've been with, they can come have a comfortable time sharing and talking with me over my dead body. *evil laugh* 
I've always held the belief that between me and you, we were just two right people who met each other at the wrong time in our lives. Both of us needed so much work to be done on our individual lives and coming together as a couple before we firmly established ourselves in Christ was just an unwise decision.
Thank God for His grace which allowed us to part ways amicably and to be truly happy and sharing in each other's joy as we shared how God has continued to shape us in our own individual lives. You've been a major starring role for 3 years of my life and there is no way a bond like that could be forgotten or erased easily, which explains why you'll always be very special to me. 
The 3 years we spent together had its ups and downs and to a certain extent, the negative parts of it still haunts me, much of which I felt was self-contributed. I'm hugely fearful of a relationship still because I don't know how different I will be from then and I think it is only by God's grace that He will allow me to meet the right person. I guess I'm not that recovered from the emotional wrecks the broken relationship has caused me, in the same way that I'm not over a lot of things that has happened in my life. Explains why I'm in therapy. *dry laughs*
I'd be lying to say that I'm completely over the relationship and that it no longer has any effects on me. Sometimes, I'd find myself thinking about you and how things would be like if we were to get back together. I guess it's only normal, eh? Given the fact that we were together for so long and that I have a mind that loves to wander off on its own!
But I know that all these remain as things that I need to deal with as they come because I've already released you to God. God has been taking care of you and will continue taking care of you. I am not you saviour. Though I tried to be the answer to you problems during the years we were together, I think I just failed miserably coz Jesus is the only way.
Sometimes I think that if I had maintained my walk with Him well during the times we were together, that might've helped to ease off some of the negative parts we had. But of course, this is only an after-thought. During the times when we were together, I was highly unstable emotionally, so I guess the times I was able to be nice to you was already a plus.
You blogged an entry about this Christmas which we've spent together and I'm still quite awed by some of the things you said. To be honest, I've never really saw myself as an effective testimony for Him because of the deep struggle with depression that I have and the many times I've faltered and fallen from His ways. It is truly only by His grace that I am still alive and breathing today, still waiting for the next high to hit while riding out the lows of the current situation.
Perhaps if I learnt to look at my life as the testimony that others can see and draw strength from, I might be a little more encouraged about my own life and future. *shrugs* The need to learn to cope with the depression by looking at it from God's perspective will be very important in my recovery process.
Sorry, I digressed. Streams of consciousness is my style of writing. Lol~ 
Anyway, Sam, I think God is doing a greatjob in your life by helping you to get back up on your feet, living your life the way He wants you to live and giving you the strength to carry all these tasks through. I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been easy for you about a year back, but we can both rejoice at how positive your life has turned out to be.
I'm really encouraged by the great things that have happened during the past year and I know that for certain He will continue to bring great things to pass in your life. Just like a fellow I know who shares the same name as you, he was called from young to be a major starring role in the history of the Jews, delivering messages from God to the people who would hear, anointing and advising King David. 
Just like that fellow, I know that He will bring the good plans to pass in your life - Jer 29:11. I encourage you to make 2006 your year of re-establishing your covenantal relationship with Him and to dedicate it to Him for however He may choose to use you. Above all these, make the coming year the start of rekindling your relationship, your flames of passion with Him and for Him.
You may see yourself as a black sheep up the tree but know that the Great Shepherd specialises in rescuing the lost. He Himself said that He came to earth to seek the lost and also, He would go after that single lost sheep even if it meant laying down His life so that the lost sheep may be saved. He did that for you already, Sam. And His heart is reaching out for you to go back to Him, to return to the arms of the One who loves you so so so much.
Allow the reality of His love to reach down to your heart and allow His love to melt the heart of yours that you've long programmed to function on an emotionless state. The beauty of the Lord's love is best appreciated with a heart that feels the warmth of the embrace of our Heavely Father above personally.
He's desiring that you come into the folds of His warm embrace so He can show you just how much He loves you. If you believe in me and believe in the truth of my life as a testimony of His goodness, then come and experience that goodness for yourself. If you have been encouraged by my testimony of His goodness, come and allow that goodness to be given to you personally.
Please do come to the service on New Year's day. It'll be a splendid start to the new year as you renew your covenant with Him. The foundation of our lives would be the relationship we have with Him and knowing that the next 4 years of your life would be quite busy (and probably crazy!), this would be the perfect time to get your grounding right!
Above all these, know that I'm praying for you. You will always remain someone special to me and yes, you've found a friend in me and likewise I found one in you!
God bless you brother. Happy new year!
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Separation issue lah...
Well, I'm used to playing without money involved so it's a challenge nonetheless. 
