Was at Chin Meng and Phay Ling's earlier for some fellowship (*Read: FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD! ) just now. Was a good way to spend my Friday evening.

Was at TTSH this morning and have told Dr Tang that I will go with Dr Tan from CGH/ Gleneagles coz he can afford more time to monitor my progress. TTSH is just too overloaded with the amount of cases they have to see.

I'm sentimental about 'leaving' the hospital coz afterall, it's been a place of refuge for me for many times now and I've a good dr-patient relationship with Dr Tang. But I guess it just comes to a point where I have to move on to some place else that would offer me more to help me thru this recovery process.

Had a nice session with Dr Tang today. Sorta like a summary to the situation now and how I need to keep moving onward with His perspective in mind. That gives me the hope and the reason for living. The promise that the vision He has placed upon my heart is not a case of Him misplacing the call for my life. Even though things are not happening the way I envisioned them to, He's still moving me onward for the vision He's called me to. I just need to keep moving on with this perspective in mind.

Also, the CBT exercise that the counselor at Mt E wants me to get started on? Dr Tang suggested that I put in Scripture to help with the positive thinking lest I get too centred on me being the solution to my problems. That's the thing with secular counseling - they focus on the self as a source for strength and as a solution. I'm not my strength. God is my strength.

Seriously, apart from what He says about me, I'm unable to come up with anything positive about the negative thinking I have about things, about people and about me. It is only through His eyes and His Word that I see the positive in things. He is my hope. He is my reason.

Tough exercise but it'll be a good exercise in disciplining my mind to focus on God's perspective, instead of my own negative perceptions about things. Tough coz I gotta follow through with it and I can't just let it slide even things do get better after a while. That is what Dr Tang termed 'laziness'. Lol~ Yeap! I can't be too lazy for the development of my own character, can I?

Thank God for Dr Tang who's been such a faithful sister-in-Christ who encourages me from His Word and His perspective. I do wish her all the best and that God will continue to shower His blessings upon the work that she does with her hands. Amen. Am gonna miss her though... Separation issue lah...

Watched "Elizabethtown" with Esther this afternoon and it's quite a sweet, romantic, funny film. Not outstandingly great like Narnia, but then again, I can't compare other stuff to Narnia now can I? LoL~ Enjoyable. 3 popcorns outta 5.

Shared some of the insights into my situation with her and hopefully she'll understand my situation from a different perspective right now.

Was feeling quite lousy on the way back from Chin Meng's coz I missed the last 72 which would bring me home.  I'm quite sure I didn't spend frivously the extra money Dad gave me for my appointments, so where did the money go?

Money is such an issue right now and I'm really praying for a suitable part-time job so I can handle my daily expenses. Definitely gotta cut down on the extra frivolous spendings I've been so accustomed to all my frivolous life. On my own strength I won't be able to withstand all the temptations coming from SHOE SHOPS, BAG SHOPS, ACCESSORIES SHOPS, etc. Lots of struggles lah...

But God is faithful to help me rid this bad spending habit I have. I am very careful with money now and watch every single cent I spend. It's still not giving me enough money though...

I don't understand why you people are so generous and so kind to me. I don't deserve your generosity....Why are you people so nice to me? I don't deserve all the niceness you are showing me. I don't deserve it. Why do I feel like I"m burdening you while I'm going through the recovery? Why do I feel that you people are being penalized for my inability to work right now?